lefty loosey

I must tell you a secret

I do not know my tos from toos 

or what day of the week it is 

or if it’s 12am or 12pm 

it always takes me a second or two or even five

to figure out where my left is and where is right 

your right or my right?

it took me a long time to learn how to tie my shoes

when they came undone during school I would 

wrap them around each other and stuff them back

into my sneakers, I do this a lot in life, compensate

for what I do not know and for what I can not do

but I know that you do this too 

everyone 

is late for dinner sometimes 

except maybe caterpillars, who live on a plate

everyone is ugly 

sometimes 

even rabbits are not much beneath all the fluff

like how a balcony is just planks of wood

so no, I can’t tell you reflexively, is it effect or affect? 

and does it matter? 

it depends on who it effects or what it is affecting

or the other way around

I must tell you a secret 

I do not know me from you

or you from everyone 

so you can not take from me 

what you do not already have 

and I can not find what I’ve lost 

for you’ve lost it as well

or have you found it, like everyone else has?

I spun as a girl of three and eight and twelve 

and my mind spins still at twenty-six 

revolving around pointless inquiries, 

making little progress, enjoying the velocity

the dizziness, the confusion 

I lay still 

my brain rocks my body to sleep