saturn

Oh, young defector, why’d you change your mind?

I followed the path from your brow to your mouth

dove in, drank you, pliant benefactor

our teacups gather dust in stacks beside the sink

so we drink our wine from the vase and it tastes

of rotten flowers 

I feel it all around me surrounding and trying to get in

the hour is a dense fog I must squint to see through

but see through I do, I see you,

I see you now and I see you as a child in the crinkle of your grin, as old a memory as a coiled wire telephone

It’s all relative, my detractor, 

they stamp the same branch of veins in all varieties of materials, flesh and dirt and minerals

you lay into me and tie me into pretty knots, 

O willow I bend 

for you, my teeth yellowed pearls against your roughened fingers 

Same matter, same second, I can close my eyes

and your weeping hands fall upon me as do locusts from the sky

In the bath, the air shudders in and out of iridescence 

and I can see us creatures as if from without 

without a body the passing seconds capture and contain,

they hammer stoppers into our arms

to collect the sap from our veins

I can feel every piece of 2024 

as if I am watching it from 2067

life is a fragile flame, I catch on to you 

Curtains, carpet, bed, framework, and we burn 

I dream of my mother’s death for I fear 

I will never be ready to be anything but a daughter

We will reconsider, we will think it was a mistake

I will look back with wooden hands and scream, munchian, engraved upon a fleetingness

It is inevitable, dear deserter, can’t you feel it?

Your own last words are already hanging inside you,

bats asleep. 

It creates only to eat.

If you hold me in your palm tightly enough,

I will not escape

I will trace the path from the lantern to our graves

I will wil-o-wisp your way any time you should ask

as long as you distract me from the gun

I love you, take me, let’s spin all chambers

I feel lucky, fuck me

let’s have a son