the friendly ghost

sometimes i stare into the mirror when i'm all alone
not to look or to see

just to remember that i'm something like a specifc kind 

of mammal

 

with lipstick stains like blood 

between my teeth

 

where'd you go, caspar? 

are you in the sky or on the moon

is your tilted grin dispersed in the breeze of march

 

or are you nowhere? 

I know you're nowhere

but am I right?

 

I forget you

mostly

 

memories pouring from

bottle to cup

cup to ground

 

drunk by flies buzzing

 

for every truthful question

the answer is always silence 

or a lie

 

so when I ask where is nowhere

the radiator dies

buzzing outside

replaced 

by buzzing inside

from heartbeat 

to ash in a moment

but would I rather

it had happened

more slowly?

 

I call your name to fill the absence

meet silence again, even quieter

 

it's not your name

anymore